It sucks to be sick, specially where there is nausea involved. If I could choose between nausea and pain, I think I would choose pain! Anyhow, finally my stomach starts to slow down, but I still have a poor apetite (that's really not me :P) and I feel a bit nauseus all the time. In the morning I felt like my energy was coming back but already after 15 minutes out of bed I had to hurry back because I becaume exhausted by just sitting by the kitchen table. I just wanted to close my eyes and wake up in a week or so, hopefully totally recovered.When I later tried singing to Mia, I became breathless just after one verce ( and childrens songs are short). And when I played with her, I had to sit or lie down on the floor. Oh well, what did I expect, I have lost a lot of fluids and it will take time before I will feel like my old self again. Meanwhile I am so glad that my husband is at home on his parental leave and taking care of Mia. I will get stronger soon :)

Mia has mastered opening yet another closet door that is full of stuff not suitable for small children. Time to childproof again...

Dagen spenderades mest i sängen och på toa och ännu en gång har jag bäddat sängen precis utanför badrummet, just in case. Jag mår lite bättre, men är definitivt inte frisk än. Vi får se hur länge toaletten får vara min bästa kompis. Stackars min man måste känna sig som ensamstående pappa då jag har verkligen inte orken att ta hand om Mia just nu. Nu ska jag försöka sova för att det kan bli en lång natt...

I dag fick jag i mig 1,5 L vätska ( men har säkert förlorat dubbelt så mycket), två skivor rostad bröd, 1 banan, 2 smörgåsrån och 2 majskrokar....

Vilken vidrig natt jag har bakom mig! När jag hade kommit hem från nattpasset på jobbet ( vilket gick jättebra) kände jag mig så fruktansvärt trött och matt. Jag tänkte inte så mycket om det för att jag var helt säker på att det berodde på att jag hade jobbat natt helt enkelt. Mia brukar alltid vara super glad när jag kommer hem från jobbet. Den här gången fick man bara ett svagt leende och hon kändes hängig och varm. Jag tar tempen på henne och den är över 39 C. Jag blir så ledsen för att hon har precis varit sjuk och jag tycker synd om både henne och oss. Vi lägger oss tillsammans, jag och Mia runt 10-tiden på morgonen. Hon ammar och ammar, men är inte intresserad av mat och vatten. Hon vaknar några gånger under dagen och är då med sin pappa. Hon fortsätter att vara gnällig och hängig. Det är lite oroväckande för att hon har aldrig verkat så där sjuk. Jag börjar må sämre med. Hur mycket jag än sover känner jag mig fortfarande matt och frysen och börjar få ont i hela kroppen. Jag vill varken äta eller dricka för att jag börjar även må illa. Klockan är nu 17 på kvällen och jag bestämmer mig att ta temp på mig med. Och yes, även jag har 39 C feber.Efter ca 1 timme senare blir jag lös i magen och mer eller mindre s****r hela natten och det bara fortsätter på morgonen. Jag sov bokstavligen precis utanför toaletten så att jag skulle inte ha för långt att gå dit. Som tur är hade jag köpt Resorb några veckor tidigare och jag har fått i mig snart 1 L vatten med Resorn i sedan i går kväll. Jag vill fortfarande inte äta. Mia fick Alvedon till natten och sov rätt så bra. På morgonen vaknade hon feberfri och tack och lov har hon än så länge inte börjat varken spy eller tokbajsa. Jag ligger mest i sängen då jag har ingen ork att stå eller sitta uppe längre stunder. Har nog förlorat några liter för mycket vätska pga feber och diarrea och har inte riktigt hunnit i kapp med att dricka Resorb. Om det inte blir bättre är det kanske lika bra att åka in och få lite dropp. Och jag som trodde att jag var immun mot vinterkräksjukan/magsjukan... Det viktigaste är dock att min lilla skatt mår bättre och jag lär bli bättre förr eller senare med.

Snart är vi på fötterna igen!

Oj oj, i natt kommer jag att jobba NATT för första gången som
Ssk. Jag har jobbat natt som usk:a, men inte som ssk. Det blir intressant. Har druckit massa vatten och kaffe och försökt att sova på dagen. Det med sömn blev mindre lyckad. Jag tror att man kan kalla det för att "blunda eller sova vaken", men allting är bättre än ingenting. Jag har ju varit emot att jobba natt tidigare men nu när min man är hemma och har Mia på nätterna kan jag stå ut med några nattpass för att exempelvis få ledig istället på dagarna/kvällarna. Fingers crossed att det blir en bra natt!

Haj haj, här ska det jobbas natt. Jag kommer helt säkert inte att se så här pigg ut i morgonbitti....

I came to Sweden to work as an au pair 1st of March 2004. I started out in South of Sweden, close to Helsingborg and my first 4 months I hated every minute of being here. Partly because I had a horrible-horrible hostfamily who saw me as cheap labour and treated me as one and partly because I really wanted to go back to the States ( but my visa application got denied).I was sad, confused and my future was uncertain.I was in a new country with no friends, didn't know the local language and the family I lived with was anything but nice.and my last au pair job was in The States where I was treated very-very well. I was in chock! With the experiences I have today I would have dumped that family in a heartbeat, but because of several reasons I felt trapped back then and didn't believe that there were better options out there. The plan at that point was to stay in Sweden until I figure out what to do next ( I couldn't stay in Estonia because the future didn't seem that bright there at that moment. I had no job nor higher education and I lived with my parents). Little did I know that the country that I so strongly disliked would become my home. Anyways, after 4 months in Sweden things started to get better because I had became friends with this fantastic girl from the church who invited me over to her place during the weekends. We had so much fun together. After few months I decided to give Sweden another go because there were some nice people in this country after all. After 4 months I dumped the horrible host family and moved in with my newfound friend. I would have left the family much sooner but I needed to save some money and working for them was my only income ( as a Christian I try not to hate people but this familj really challenges that part of me). Me and my friend had a fantastic trip to Portugal and really liked living with each other, but after 2 months I felt that I have to decide what to do next because sooner or later I have to find a new job. At that point I didn't know any other work than au pair so it felt natural to try to find a new au pair job again. This is what I had done since I was 19. I had been an au pair in England for 6 months before and I decided to find a new host family over there.I had a bit warmer feelings towards Sweden by now, but not warm enough to want to stay any longer. I started the whole agency process again and I almost found a host family in England... And then....I can't really remember why, but for some reason I decided that I want to stay a bit longer in Sweden. I believe it was because my new friend and her family made me feel welcomed and maybe also because I wasen't ready for a big change again. I can't remember the details how everything happened but one day I was taking a bus to Malmö to go for a jobinterview for an au pair position ( yeah, what else ;). I liked the new family right a way and soon after I moved in. I really needed to meet good and kind Swedish people and this is exactly what this family was. I felt welcome in their home and they were easy to live with. I really hope they felt the same about me. After a while I started to feel better and gained some new self-confidence (being surrounded by mean people in a new country can really break one down, even if it was only 4 months) and I really enjoyed my 1,2 years in Malmö. I met new Estonian friends who also lived in Malmö. With some of them I am still close even today. Specially wirh E ( you know who you are. Puss).I started to take learning Swedish more seriously and I even made some new Swedish friends through church. I even started dating Swedish guys. Everything was going so well and I felt more and more that, hey, maybe Sweden wasen't that bad afterall ina long term perspective. And then I met my husband....

I morse var jag sugen på en omelett! Jag brukar äta smörgåsar till frukost, men tyvärr så håller dom mig inte mätta särskilt länge. Det är nog dags att börja äta mer protein! I all fall, jag tog 2 ägg, en halv liten lök som jag hackade i bitar, 4 körsbärstomater (delade i två) en halv deciliter mjölk, havssalt, lite vit peppar och en nypa paprikapulver för lite hetta (som vi har fått från en kompis med serbiska rötter). Sedan vispade jag lätt ihop alla ingridienser och stekte smeten i en matsked rapsolja. Frächt och gott! Som tillbehör blev det en grovmosad avokado. Det enda som fattades var färskpressd apelsinjuice. Klockan är 11:30 och jag känner mig fortfarande ganska mätt. Yey! Det blir fler sådana!

Goooood mooooooorning Stockholm! My morning started already at 6:30 because Mia refused to fall a sleep again. Oh well, I feel more rested anyways now that Mia "only" breastfeeds 1 time per night, so it is not that bad to start my day at 6:30. Yesterday evening I started to make the first preparations for Mias very first birthday - the invitations. I was up untill almost midnight making those cards.I decided that I will have two parties for her: one estonian and one swedish. I could have all of the guests over at the same time but I don't think we have enough space for so many people. Anyways, I am glad that the invitations are ready and hopefully I will send them on friday.The next step is to plan the menu and the cakes...Now to less exciting things. I have to do the laundry.Have a great day!

Birthday invitations Kaie's way

I had so much energy in the morning. I wanted to go shopping for groceries, clean the house among other things but by the time it was like lunchtime all my energy was gone. So darn typical! So my biggest achivment today was to put some make up on and cook some food for Mia.I didn't even get out of the house! At 7 in The evening I was ready to hit the sack. But, Instead of sleeping I have been watching funny fail videos on the Youtube. So mature, right! Well I guess I needed a laugh today. Mia was unusually sleepy today. She slept like a normal baby would do I guess. First 1,5 h in the morning and then almost 2 hours in the evening. Wow! Can't remember when that happend last time. I hope she will start sleeping better now during the day so that I can get things done while she is sleeping... One can always dream... Mia has been picky about food lately, but today when I made home made rice pudding and apple sauce with cinnamon, she opened her mouth wide and wanted more. Maybe I have to get better at making home cooked meals for her. One thing she loves is bread! Just like her mommy ;). Ok,nothing that I say today doesn't really make any sense, so i better logg off now....blääh